Man to Man: Husbands

I want you to get into pairs and ask each other the question;
1. Were you loved as a child?
What about when you made mistakes?
How were you disciplined?
2. How do you know you were loved?
Write down findings.

Know they have value.
Self confidence...
As adults, someone who was loved as a child will find it easy to believe they are lovable and it will also be easier for them to love.
1 John 4 :18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Read Eph 5.....
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph. 5:25-28).

I had a wake up call early on in our marriage...
3. What does it mean for you to married.

“Husbands, love your wives as you love your own body.” (as you love yourself)
It’s all about L-O-V-E, love!
Now Paul, has just addressed the women, said to them : “Wives submit to your husbands, as to the Lord” (Eph. 5:22).
Now of course this word submit is a very difficult word for ladies all through the ages to embrace.
Because it means to....Yield, surrender...
But it also means for us to get our act together...in other words be the man that God expects us to be.

What type of men are we supposed to be...take alook at Jesus.
Young men today need role models.... Mine was Gordon Nordstrom...my best friend Ron.
What if her husband is a wimp, not a natural leader?
When a man acts like a child, it forces his wife, to act like his mother.”
Thankfully none of you are wimps...

Jesus was a strong man;, he was compassionate. (kindhearted, feeling,)
He met the needs of people around him. Always he was thinking of others and reaching out to them.
“Strong men make strong families; strong families make strong churches; and strong churches will transform culture, and dare we say the land you are living in.”

Husbands love your wives!!!!
Well lets start with the question Do I love my wife?
How does your wife know that she is loved?
HOW DO WE LOVE OUR WIVES?
Phil Collins....You know we are two hearts believing in just one mind.

LOOK AT THESE SCISSORS
Pretty useless unless joined together. Only then can they be what the creators wanted them to be.
I was so scared before I was married....Triangle.
There are three of you in this marriage You your wife and the Lord.
God knew what he was doing when he said.
Genesis 2:23. 23The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." 24For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
In some countries the marriage are arranged by the families. So the two who are married don’t know each other.
But did you really know your wife on the day you got married?
But God does!!!
He knows what He is doing when He brings two people together who then spend the rest of their lives learning how to apply and put into practice His principles!

Paul says , “Wives, submit to your husbands; but husbands, love your wives.” Like the scissors... marriage is not going to work properly unless you both work in harmony!

HOW DO WE LOVE OUR WIVES?
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church.”
But what does that mean???
Eph 5:25
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.
Jesus went to the cross for His church for His people.for you and for me.
There, you have it! Christ loved the church. So much He sacrificed himself.
In France last weekend....men were found covering their wives bodies.
In 1996 I was in Australia when a man Martin Bryant killed 35 people..opened fire in a tourist restaurant in Port Auther on the Tasmanian Island
A number of people shot where husbands had covered their wives bodies with their own..sacrificing themselves.
and that’s how you treat your wife – self-sacrificial love.
(Eph. 5:26-27). The sacrifice of Christ was intentional. It was purposeful; He was doing it for a reason. In the same way, “Husbands, love your wives, intentionally and purposefully.”
He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.
By the same token, husband might be for my wife an agent whereby she is allowed to come to a point of fullness and completion and be all that God intended her to be. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her; that she might become a radiant church.”
You see a woman who knows she is loved and I will show you someone who is radiant...not based on her looks.
Does your wife know that she is loved?

Marit what can I do to ....Make love to me right now!
One well known Christian leader...
Darling can I ask you a question? Do I make you ‘radiant’?”
She said, “Do you really want me to answer that?” He said, “Yes, I do, I need to know!”
She said, “All right I’ll tell you. Frankly, no you don’t.” He said, “Why not?”
She said, “Well, we’ve been married all these years. We’re married, we’ll stay married, we’re together. But for years our marriage has run on parallel tracks – you do your thing, and I do my thing. The reason I’m doing my thing is I know you’re going to do your thing. What happens is this marriage operates basically on the basis of what you want, and I just fit in. I’m rarely consulted, and if I do express an opinion, it’s usually overridden or ignored. I find, therefore, that the easiest thing to do is say nothing, and just go along with what you want to do.”
She said, “You are incredibly self-centered. The result is that I live a life of frustration, a sense of being unfulfilled, bordering on resentment.”
“I had a wake-up call.”

Men, this is your wake-up call from the Lord!

Two hearts believing in just one mind
But do you both know that?
What does your wife want from you this evening?....You....!
Romantic love and Practical love....
How can we show her that we love her....
# Show her you’re still attracted to her.
After you’ve started your family, chances are that your wife isn’t feeling like the same young fresh person she was when you were dating.
# Find one thing that you find attractive about her each day and compliment her on it. Your compliments don’t always have to be physical. They can also be personality traits, or things that she’s done. A simple daily affirmation of your attraction will help her to remember how much you love her.
# Acknowledge the role that she plays in your family.
Whether your wife works in the home, or out of the home, she needs to feel valued. Make a point of noticing what she does . Wow that was delicious thanks, the house looks great love thank you.
MY wife folds all my underpants...she is being seen...
# By sharing with her how much you appreciate her cooking, cleaning, working, etc. you’re showing her that you see all that she does and really value the partnership that you share.
# Be her knight in shining armour.
This one might sound cliché, but most women, whether they recognize it or not, want a knight in shining armour. That doesn’t mean you need to buy a horse and ride in to save her.
It does mean helping to minimize her hurt and stress. And family pressures, especially when times get tough, find ways to lessen her load and take the pressure off.
You could ask her....What can I do to help?
# Keep the romance in your relationship! .
This is key to showing your wife that you love her.
# Communication is something that comes naturally to some and takes effort for others. Keeping your wife in the loop will help her to know what you’re thinking and how she can take an active role in your relationship. Talk to her she is your helper....
# Fun stuff Do something Romantic...like flowers, notes, making love...and not only at the same time every Friday night at 10....same time same place....have fun!!!!
# DATE NIGHT
If you’re like us date night is something that we look forward to. We don’t go crazy we don’t want to break the bank.
It means spending quality time together and enjoying one another’s company.
Picnic, sandwich and coffee, cakes, shopping with her,,,go in the dress shops or wool shops.
There’s something said for being comfortable in your marriage and knowing that you’ll always be there for each other, YOU’RE THERE.....